Keeping The Wretched House Clean

Having thrown off the iron shackles of work and clipped on the platinum shackles of homemaking, I have figured out a two-step plan that will solve the problem of how to keep your house clean:

  1. take birth control pills
  2. go out as often as possible.

Sadly  I didn’t do 1, which means now I sure as hell can’t do 2.  You’re in the same boat, sorryyyyyyy.

So, plan B, which has involved looking at Pinterest a lot.

Pinterest is great. It’s full of hacks and schedules and tips on how best to do all the stuff you know you should be doing instead of looking at Pinterest. Sometimes I even put Pinterest tips into practice. Vinegar really is a wonder liquid. So is lemon juice.

But I think the thing that has really helped me the most is throwing stuff away. As the mother of two small children I’m necessarily about 18 months behind the rest of the world in telling you this, but the reason I am sitting happily in a relaxed, clutter-free living room right now (really!) is because of Marie Kondo and her delightfully bonkers The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying. Her feelings on storage solutions are eye-opening (especially if, like me, you tend to collect cute little boxes To Put Stuff In), and her book gave the me the emotional tools I needed to be able to get rid of things without guilt.

Cozy and uncluttered! Thank you Marie Kondo.

A post shared by Haywire Housewife (@housewifehaywire) on

Of course, tidy isn’t enough. I do follow a cleaning schedule. But honestly, there is no point in cleaning if you haven’t figured out how to get tidy first. So I’ll save a post about actual CLEANING-cleaning for later.